The Inside Man.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Hui Yi
Meet Hui Yi.
The most adorable girl i've ever come across!
She's 3 years old and suffers from nephrotic syndrome.....this would be her 8th relapse and she's on steroids....probably will be for a very long time.
She's been warded for 2 weeks now and she's still not responding that well to medications.
The reason i adore her so much is because no matter how long she has been at the hospital and no matter how much she hates blood taking or getting pricked,she's always ready to greet anyone with her smile and her toys.She's well behaved and despite her condition (some kids take advantage of their parents when they are sick), she's not a drama queen and is very considerate with her mom who tries to be with her as much as she can(she's expecting another child in a month's time) cause she can't wait to have a baby brother with whom she can play.
In times of personal adversity.....think of Hui Yi....
(Darn blogger!i can't put up hui yi's picture...i promise i shall put it up...taken with the permission of her mom.)
Monday, March 20, 2006
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Killer week ahead......
Wowee...just checked out my itinerary for the next 10 days....somewhere along i think i got over-ambitious and i'll be paying the price for that the next couple of days.....sigh!
Monday, March 13, 2006
Friday, March 10, 2006
aaarrrrrggghhh!
Doc:so, looks like your son most probably has leukemia as we told you earlier.
Dad:(quiet)
Doc:i need your consent to do further invasive tests and you should know about treatment options.
Dad:(quiet)
Doc:i know this is very hard for you to come to terms with right now but we need to save him.
Dad:i don't want him to suffer anymore.
Doc:but it's still too early to opt out of any treatment....he might have good chances.
Dad:can you guarantee he won't die?
Doc:i can't.but we can't just not do anything now.let me go through treatment options for him, pros and cons of it all....i'll get the oncologist to talk to you.
Dad:no.no more pricking doc.one more needle mark on him and i'm taking him home!
Doc:but you can't just not let us do anything.what's the purpose of him getting admitted at all then??
Dad:i don't know.but just keep him happy here....
Doc:??but i thought you're not letting us do anything.
Dad:yeah.....but i shall come see him everyday.
Doc:??and yet why would you want to keep him here if you don't want us to do anything for him.
Dad:he's in good hands....but you'll let him go when his time comes.
Doc:you can't give up this early!we still can do so much more for him....
Dad:no.one more mark, and i i will sue you, doc.
Doc:????????
Dad:i hope we understand each other.
Doc:you're a dad and i know what you must be going through now.but if you're unhappy with me maybe i should let someone else manage you kid?
Dad: oh no....you're good.just so long as we understand each other....
Doc:so are you saying that you would be responsible for your actions and agree to sign for no active resuscitation.
Dad:no.i am not signing anything.
Doc:(if i could do a bone marrow aspiration on you, i would you moron!and i'd make sure you feel all the pain in the world and think of what your son has to go through because you're being a p....!sue me????talk about being grateful, you lousy cow!you have no right whatsoever to decide when a child should be left to die....even if you're the Dad.i am not playing God but i know when a kid still has a chance!And you're not even man enough to be responsible for your actions, dumbass!Why won't you listen????!Ohhhh i am so gonna use the child's protection act!)
Dad:(quiet)
Doc:i need your consent to do further invasive tests and you should know about treatment options.
Dad:(quiet)
Doc:i know this is very hard for you to come to terms with right now but we need to save him.
Dad:i don't want him to suffer anymore.
Doc:but it's still too early to opt out of any treatment....he might have good chances.
Dad:can you guarantee he won't die?
Doc:i can't.but we can't just not do anything now.let me go through treatment options for him, pros and cons of it all....i'll get the oncologist to talk to you.
Dad:no.no more pricking doc.one more needle mark on him and i'm taking him home!
Doc:but you can't just not let us do anything.what's the purpose of him getting admitted at all then??
Dad:i don't know.but just keep him happy here....
Doc:??but i thought you're not letting us do anything.
Dad:yeah.....but i shall come see him everyday.
Doc:??and yet why would you want to keep him here if you don't want us to do anything for him.
Dad:he's in good hands....but you'll let him go when his time comes.
Doc:you can't give up this early!we still can do so much more for him....
Dad:no.one more mark, and i i will sue you, doc.
Doc:????????
Dad:i hope we understand each other.
Doc:you're a dad and i know what you must be going through now.but if you're unhappy with me maybe i should let someone else manage you kid?
Dad: oh no....you're good.just so long as we understand each other....
Doc:so are you saying that you would be responsible for your actions and agree to sign for no active resuscitation.
Dad:no.i am not signing anything.
Doc:(if i could do a bone marrow aspiration on you, i would you moron!and i'd make sure you feel all the pain in the world and think of what your son has to go through because you're being a p....!sue me????talk about being grateful, you lousy cow!you have no right whatsoever to decide when a child should be left to die....even if you're the Dad.i am not playing God but i know when a kid still has a chance!And you're not even man enough to be responsible for your actions, dumbass!Why won't you listen????!Ohhhh i am so gonna use the child's protection act!)
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Betrayal,war,futility,past/future
"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
--From Macbeth (V, v, 19)
"Et tu, Brute?"
--From Julius Caesar (III, i, 77)
Dear sisters and brother,
"we will pull through this together, Inshallah."
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
--From Macbeth (V, v, 19)
"Et tu, Brute?"
--From Julius Caesar (III, i, 77)
Dear sisters and brother,
"we will pull through this together, Inshallah."
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Amar's lovely books that i've 'kidnapped' temporarily
Mr. God, this is Anna by Anna Fyn.
A cry for mercy by Henri Nouwen.
The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery.
Poems of Tagore.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Weekend project
So my best friend Arpana's getting married and she coudln't find the 'Bombay Store' stuff in Canada and guess what, I've valiantly offered to MAKE her photo album for her.Yes folks, I'm gonna put on my artistic cap and bring out the tools of the trade(gotta dust off first after being kept dormant and rotting for months!) and make her one heck of a Wedding Album that she's gonna keep until she becomes an old biddy and shows it to her grandkids!And this will definitely have to look better than the one I made for Sheetal and Nehal.Hmmmmm....I can't wait to rush off and buy some paper and stationary!I love projects!!!Anything that is not related to work!Oh....will definitely put up a picture of the 'artwork' once it's done...ehm, ehm....And Arppy you cow, you owe me one!
Monday, February 27, 2006
Sunday, February 26, 2006
I'm feeling mushy today.....
If You Forget Me
I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
Pablo Neruda
I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
Pablo Neruda
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Zzzzzzzzzz.........
Sleep
Though wakefulness my domain
In sleep I remain,
For wakefulness is sleep
One shallow and one deep.
© Shahriar Shahriari
Vancouver, Canada
May 11, 1997
Though wakefulness my domain
In sleep I remain,
For wakefulness is sleep
One shallow and one deep.
© Shahriar Shahriari
Vancouver, Canada
May 11, 1997
Thursday, February 23, 2006
......Garfield!
So, I heard from an old pal of mine today.....she was a very good friend of mine from grade 9.We didn't have a lot of things in common except for the fact that she was the only other muslim girl that I was close to from school those days.And we shared the love for Garfield.....I know it's lame....head over heels in love with Garfield when most girls our age were already beginning to develop their first crush on guys.Man.....if Garfield was a real person, he would have been impressed with our dedication to him!We'd swap Garfield stickers, t-shirts, sit for hours and diligently draw and color huge Garfield posters, get Garfield memorablias,and even.... eeeeks.....i'm embarrassed to admit now, talk the 'garfield talk'!!Anyways....my fellow Garfield lover has moved on to better things and was writing to let me know that she was going for her confinement soon as she's expecting her second kid anytime now.
What about me??I still follow Garfield comics on the local daily without fail!
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Monday, February 13, 2006
10 things that annoy me now!
1)my digital camera that 'refuses' to click pictures at nights!What the hell's wrong with it??
2)my phone that always seems to slip through my hands and come apart...thank god have been able to reassemble it each time!(need to get a shock-proof one when this crashes into smithereens again!)....I'll never forget the time when it actually fell out of my coat and hit the person i was trying to resuscitate, on the head!
3)....all that mush around now...ugh!Ashlee Simpson's L-O-L-O-L-O-L-O-V-E is sooooo incredibly annoying that i am gonna puke if i hear it again!!
4)Dr Lau.A real pain in the ass if there ever was one.(Oh, I know this is a long shot but I hope you're reading this!)
5)'educated' Malays who speak such terrible English!Stick to Malay y'all...problem solved!Tak perlu berbahas dalam bahasa yang tidak difaham!!
6)Islamophobia!
7)A very very stubborn Dad.
8)the heat....what an energy sapper!
9)My stupid webcam!
10).....the fact that I can't be where I want to be right now~
2)my phone that always seems to slip through my hands and come apart...thank god have been able to reassemble it each time!(need to get a shock-proof one when this crashes into smithereens again!)....I'll never forget the time when it actually fell out of my coat and hit the person i was trying to resuscitate, on the head!
3)....all that mush around now...ugh!Ashlee Simpson's L-O-L-O-L-O-L-O-V-E is sooooo incredibly annoying that i am gonna puke if i hear it again!!
4)Dr Lau.A real pain in the ass if there ever was one.(Oh, I know this is a long shot but I hope you're reading this!)
5)'educated' Malays who speak such terrible English!Stick to Malay y'all...problem solved!Tak perlu berbahas dalam bahasa yang tidak difaham!!
6)Islamophobia!
7)A very very stubborn Dad.
8)the heat....what an energy sapper!
9)My stupid webcam!
10).....the fact that I can't be where I want to be right now~
Ivan and his Dad
I recently got to know Ivan while I was moonlighting.
He's a 7 year old kid with Cerebral Palsy and severe spastic quadriplegia.
Ivan's been through a lot.
His parents however, have stood by him through thick and thin.
They've pretty much foregone a lot of life's little pleasures just so they could be there for him....
So, when the assisting nurse asked me, (while Ivan and Dad were still in the examining room), "So Doc, what's the plan for Valentine's Day?"
"Bah!Valentine's Day indeed!", I scorned.
To which Ivan's Dad said, "come on Doc, you gotta have a Valentine.....mine's right here (affectionately ruffling Ivan's hair),.....and I thank God everyday for giving him to me."
I felt like an ass....
I'll never make fun of Valentine's Day again.
Ever.
He's a 7 year old kid with Cerebral Palsy and severe spastic quadriplegia.
Ivan's been through a lot.
His parents however, have stood by him through thick and thin.
They've pretty much foregone a lot of life's little pleasures just so they could be there for him....
So, when the assisting nurse asked me, (while Ivan and Dad were still in the examining room), "So Doc, what's the plan for Valentine's Day?"
"Bah!Valentine's Day indeed!", I scorned.
To which Ivan's Dad said, "come on Doc, you gotta have a Valentine.....mine's right here (affectionately ruffling Ivan's hair),.....and I thank God everyday for giving him to me."
I felt like an ass....
I'll never make fun of Valentine's Day again.
Ever.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
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